Employees

Employees

Employees

Wellbeing | Alcohol – What to Say, and What Not to Say to Support Someone

22nd August, 2024

by

If you’re worried about someone else’s drinking you’re not alone. Drinkaware research in 2022 found that almost three out of ten UK adults (29%) felt concerned about someone else’s drinking in the last year.

If you have noticed a colleague, friend or relative has been drinking too much alcohol, it is likely you have felt the impact – you may have been having more arguments with them, perhaps you feel you have been able to rely on them less lately, or they have become more emotionally distant. It is also likely that you feel sad, angry, frustrated, and worried that their drinking has seemingly become more important than other things in their lives, like their family, friends and work. This is an entirely natural reaction. But before you talk to them about their drinking, it is important to remember that it often takes time for someone to be ready to make a change.

You may want to help them by talking to them. There’s no doubt that it’s a sensitive subject, but there are steps you can take to help a friend or family member. It is a good idea to create a plan and write down beforehand some of things you would like to say. This will help you to keep calm and retain some clarity in what may be a difficult, emotional conversation.

It is also a good idea to:

  • Pick a time when they are sober and therefore more receptive to your worries.
  • Choose a comfortable space for the conversation – neutral territory like a café or park might be a good idea, provided that you can guarantee privacy.
  • Avoid an argument – if it’s not the right time, try again later.

You need to be ready and willing to listen. The more you listen, the more someone will feel comfortable to open up. Listening reflectively and using open questions can help maintain rapport and empathy.

Be ready with as much information as possible so you can offer advice on how to get support if they ask you.

Choose a safe and comfortable place for the conversation, and use positive, supportive language. Avoid criticism, making judgements or using labels such as “alcoholic”. Try to choose positive, supportive language. Here are some useful questions you might ask:

  • “I’ve noticed you have not been feeling yourself lately. Do you want to talk to me about what’s going on for you?”
  • “I am worried that things are getting on top of you. Would you like to have a chat to someone about what is worrying you?”
  • “How do you feel about your drinking, because I’m concerned you have not been your usual self?”

Try to avoid accusing your loved one of “having a drink problem” or “being an alcoholic”, as this is rarely the right approach. Avoiding labels and instead focusing on the person and behaviour is likely to cause less upset. Also, expressing empathy with the difficulties they are experiencing will likely be more effective, acknowledging how things may have been tough for them recently at home or in work.

Try not to be too direct with your language too: questions like “do you think you could do with a little support to cut down your drinking?” and “have you considered chatting with your GP?” will likely be more helpful than statements like “you need help”.

Supporting a colleague or someone close to you to cut back or stop drinking can be a challenging and can take some time but it could provide them with the motivation they need to get their drinking under control.

Support you could offer includes:

  • Encouraging them to get a check-up from their GP and offering to accompany them.
  • Sitting with them when they call an alcohol helpline for advice.
  • Regularly praising any small changes they are able to make.
  • Organising events and trips that don’t involve alcohol.
  • Avoiding drinking alcohol around them.
  • Avoiding withholding alcohol from them if they are drinking at high levels, as they could be physically dependent on alcohol. This means their body will react negatively if they stop drinking suddenly. These reactions are alcohol withdrawal symptoms and can be very dangerous, and even fatal. So, encouraging your loved one to seek advice from their GP to reduce their drinking safely is vital.

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please reach out for help. Here are some resources:

Please also refer to our poster with QR codes to the above organisations. Please share this on your Wellbeing and workplace notice boards. You can find the poster on the UK News download page HERE

Our Employee Assistance Programme

Cemex offers all employees a free, confidential employee assistance programme (EAP) called Lifestyle Support. Available 24/7, it is run by a separate provider and not part of Cemex. The company does not receive any employee specific information. You can contact our EAP for confidential advice and support – by calling 0808 168 2143 or visit www.lifestyle-support.co.uk (Username: cemex  Password: cemex).